It is not uncommon for folk to sign up for a yoga class because they feel utterly frustrated with the current state of health affairs, or because nothing has worked so far, or because they simply don't know where else to turn, and so they are willing to try this strange thing called "therapeutic yoga" as a last resort. That's exactly how I got into the yoga practice...:)
We often come to the mat armed with our disappointments and frustrations, determined to get better. We push aggressively, progress too far too fast, then burn out or get hurt, and drop the practice just before it begins to deliver.
So today I have a story and an invite to share: let's take a closer look at the motivations and expectations behind our new beginnings - be it a new yoga practice, new workout program, or any other fresh new start...
September was a hard month for my family.
One of my kiddos was having a really rough time, and that shook me right down to the bones.
Somehow I made it through September alright.
I needed to focus on helping him to feel better, so I did what I had to do.
It was when the crisis was finally over that I started to unravel.
By mid-October all the familiar nervy aches that laid dormant for a while suddenly woke up screaming, and that was only half of the problem. The other - and far scarier half - was that I somehow lost the trust that I was strong enough and smart enough to find my way back to feeling like my Self.
I've re-written and edited this post so many times I've lost count. I started writing it a few weeks back while I still was in the middle of it all. Now, as I'm polishing it up, I'm feeling mostly back to normal and with a different perspective on the arc of post-crisis flare up.
Trusting myself I should have, because someway, somehow, I found my way back. Every step of this journey, even when I was feeling utterly lost, powerless, hopeless, and frustrated to tears, built a foundation for the next step ahead, and ultimately, for the recovery.
First, I tried everything that I could to help myself. It felt like I was getting nowhere fast.... I then went to massage and Physio, my usual support team. And... nothing...
Cranial treatment that I found by an off chance offered the first glimpse of hope. I walked in with a two - week old headache; I walked out without one. The difference literally was like night and day. Immediately noticeable was not only the absence of headache, but also this inner spaciousness, like I suddenly stepped out of my squirrely mind, and the trust that I will get better.
Naturally, I was curious: why was that the physio and massage, my usual go-to's, yielded no results this time around? And why did cranial help?
My ah-mazing psychologist commented that the intent of a cranial treatment is usually very different from most other modalities. Massage and physio start and end with an intention to change and/or fix. If the nervous system is already straining under stress those kind of interventions might overwhelm it even further. Simply put, the nervous system just cannot accept the change.
A cranial treatment, with its gentle touch, comes with an intention of support. When the nervous system feels the safety of being supported, it naturally begins to move towards regulation and equilibrium.
There never is a single treatment modality - or a single movement practice - that is right for everyone, or right all of the time.
Sometimes we can set the intention to improve, and then work patiently and incrementally towards creating that change.
Other times - perhaps when we feel more tired, knocked down by our circumstances and battered by life - we might need to step back, let go of working hard, and give ourselves a permission to be supported.
, what direction feels right for YOU right now?
Right for your body?
Right for your mind?
Yoga, and especially Pain Care Yoga, offers a working model of how we can meet life's challenges with wisdom, patience, and grace; of working flexibly with how we feel instead of struggling against it; of learning to listen and meet the needs of our bodies - one moment and one breath at a time.
Maybe this post can serve as both invitation to notice how you feel - right here... right now... - and to set the right {for you!} intention - for the new practice, new season, or the new year to come.
For me, things have started to improve after that first cranial treatment. Mostly it felt like my good old self care tools were finally doing something. And then one day I woke up with this thought: "Nobody is gonna give me all the answers. Let's get the books out and figure this head - face - neck ache once and for all."
Once my mind was back on-line, physical pain no longer seemed so frustrating or all consuming... More like yet another piece of puzzle to figure out. ME was back (and YOU will be the lucky beneficiary of my learning - if you choose to)!
The bigger question - why do I keep sliding back into the Illness Mindset whenever things go off kilter? - remains under investigation. I may not ever get rid of that Illness Mindset, but perhaps I can learn to be less afraid of it or even welcome it as an old, familiar friend. There's a reason it's there...
See you on the mat!
