Working with a private client, I asked her to start describing how she felt by noticing something positive about her body. She took a
pause and concentrated hard. We both were overwhelmed by emotion when she said, " I draw a complete blank. I don't know how to do this."
She doesn't live with persistent pain.
She as quite active and is constantly pushing herself to improve.
Her body moves incredibly well, able to accommodate strenuous activities like backpacking and snowboarding.
It broke my heart to see this beautiful, gifted young woman grapple with
such a simple concept of self-appreciation.
Simple doesn't mean easy.
And the reason my heart ached for her because I recognize my own struggle in her words: just several days earlier, on a skiing trip, my partner had commented on how good and strong I looked on steep slopes.
My reply?
"My legs need to be stronger!"
I am so immensely grateful for the practice
of mindfulness, because I caught myself right in this moment:
I saw how I blew a kind comment off, only to notice some small deficiency in my performance . That was the exact moment of recognizing how long I've told myself that I am not enough, this way, or the other. And that was also the moment that I chose to step out of that pattern.
" You are right, I am strong, I have trained hard and I am skiing really good today."
What did
that do?
Gave me confidence to tackle even steeper runs.
This client asked me for some suggestions on where to start and at the time I couldn't say anything coherent - heart moments are like that sometimes. After having thought about it for a while I offered up a gratitude journal as a daily practice, and also loving - kindness meditation.
Both of these challenge our negativity bias, give us hard evidence that we are enough, and
build gratitude and appreciation muscle.
On - The - Mat Pain Care challenge:
Scientific literature tells us that as pain persists, the nervous system pays more and more attention to the danger signals and to the pain. More brain cells
are "listening" to signals from that part of the body right now. Even normal signals are misinterpreted by your nervous system as dangerous. This, in turn, brings even more attention to your protection systems.
We often try to avoid thinking about pain. Sometimes we suppress the pain.
Avoiding and ignoring pain often causes the nervous system to pay even more attention to it.
Science have shown that avoiding and
suppressing thinking about pain is not as useful for pain relief as being mindful of the pain or paying attention to it without the need to respond.
Modifying your attention and also how the body reacts to pain is an important part of pain care yoga practice.
Here are two strategies:
- When you have
persistent pain and you know that your nervous system gives you inaccurate information, tell yourself " I hurt, but I know I am OK." It may take many repetitions to make this effective - you have to be just as persistent as the pain.
- Use your breath and your thoughts. As you are breathing, say to yourself " Breathing in I am calm, breathing out I smile."
Off - The - Mat Pain Care challenge:
Adopt this mindset shift:
Having pain does not mean that I am sick or broken.
My body may hurt, but I am alert, awake
and aware.
I have the tools and strategies that help me to move forward.
Whenever life circumstances challenge me, I use that as an opportunity to grow.
